A.Why are cooks cruel?
B.Because they beat eggs and whip cream.
Sent by: Patrick in Toronto Ontario
Patient.....Doctor doctor I feel like a loaf of bread!
Doctor .....Oh stop loafing around!
Sent by:Patrick in Toronto Ontario
Patient.....Doctor doctor I think i'm in invisible!
Doctor.....What?Who said that?
Sent in by: Patrick in Toronto Ontario
Why did the orange stop rolling?
It ran out of juice!
Little Johnny was in church with him mom for Sunday Mass when he
suddenly felt nauseous.
"Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!"
She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Run across
the lawn and go behind the bushes. You can throw up behind the bushes
and nobody will see you."
So Little Johnny hauled *ss for the door. Less than a minute later, he
returned to his seat next to his mom. He had the look of obvious relief
on his young face.
"Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny?"
"I didn't have to go that far, mom.
Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it:
FOR THE SICK.''
Sent in by: Nirav Parekh
WHY DID THE ORANGE STOP ROLLING DOWN THE HILL?
IT RAN OUT OF JUICE!
WHAT DID THE BIG CHIMNEY SAY TO THE SMALL CHIMNEY?
YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE SMOKING!!!
Sent in by Robert Walsh
Q. Why did the Irishman fall out of the window??
A.Because he was ironing his curtains.
Sent in by Mark Scoffield
Patient: Doctor Doctor I feel like a snooker ball
Doctor: Go to the end of the cue!
Luv Heather ,11, Greenock xxx
My joke is:
There are three pieces of string that walk into a pub, the
first piece of string walks up to the bar and asks for three pints of
beer, but the man at the bar tells him that they don't serve pieces of
string. So the piece of string goes and sits down, the second piece
of string goes up to the bar and asks for the same but the man at the
bar still says no.
So this time the third piece of string tells the other
two that they are useless and that he could do better, so he goes
into the corner of the pub and frays his ends and ties himself into a
knot, he then walks up to the bar and asks for the three pints of
beer, the man at the bar says to him 'You are another piece of string
aren't you?' but the piece of string just says: 'no, I'm a frayed knot.
(afraid not!!)
Thanks! My name is Sarah and I am 10 years old,my email address is: sweetsarah@popstar.com
Why did the skeleton not go to the disco?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
Sent in by Stephen Lear
That kid was so silly he tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
By "Majik"
Q. Two men went onto a shop. One stole a battery and one stole a firework.What happened?
A.One got charged and the other got let off!
Sent in by Anonymous
How do you stop a monkey from climbing up Blackpool tower?
Take him Rhyl!!!
Zoie Douglas 12 email: zdouglas@uk.packardbell.org
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff!!!
Sent in by Paula Wylde
Doctor, Doctor I'm shrinking!
You'll just have to be a little patient!!
Sent in by James Barnes
Q What do you call a cat with eight legs?
A Octopuss!
Sent in by Humphrey
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Interrupting cat.
Interrupting ca....
Moooooo
Sent in by Mark and Bev
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