Q. Where would you find a prehistoric cow ?
A. In a mooseum!
Sent in by Danny Welch
There was an Englishman a Scotsman and an Irishman,
they climbed to the top of a magic mountain,
the Englishman jumped off and shouted "gold",
and he landed in a pile of gold.
Then the Scotsman jumped off and shouted "silver",
and he landed in a pile of silver.
The Irishman however was scared,
he jumped off and shouted "oh poo!!!"
and I think you know what happened afterwards!
Sent in by Trevor S.
Three men in a boiler room: A builder, a bank manager and a soldier. How
do you know which one is the soldier?
He's the one in the tank!
Sent in by Chris Brown aged 10
Englishman,Irishman and a Scotsman all stranded in a desert
and somehow manage to find a deer. They all wanted their fair
share so the Englishman said "We'll sort it out by who you
support". The Englishman said "I support Liverpool so I'll
have the Liver". Then the Scotsman said "I support hearts
so I'll have the heart".
The Irishman said "I support arsenal but I'm not that hungry!"
By Ben Ward.
spider,spider on the wall
ain't you got no sense at all
can't you see the walls been plastered
now your stuck you silly b*stard!
Sent in by Dave Smart
What do you get if batman and robin are run over by a steam roller?
Flatman and Ribbon!
Related by Jim George's Nephew
Why didnt the skeleton go to the party ?
cos he didnt have any body to go with!
Sent in by Martine Dervin
My joke is:
There are three pieces of string that walk into a pub, the
first piece of string walks up to the bar and asks for three pints of
beer, but the man at the bar tells him that they don't serve pieces of
string. So the piece of string goes and sits down, the second piece
of string goes up to the bar and asks for the same but the man at the
bar still says no.
So this time the third piece of string tells the other
two that they are useless and that he could do better, so he goes
into the corner of the pub and frays his ends and ties himself into a
knot, he then walks up to the bar and asks for the three pints of
beer, the man at the bar says to him 'You are another piece of string
aren't you?' but the piece of string just says: 'no, I'm a frayed knot.
(afraid not!!)
Thanks! My name is Sarah and I am 10 years old,my email address is: sweetsarah@popstar.com
Why did the skeleton not go to the disco?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
Sent in by Stephen Lear
That kid was so silly he tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
By "Majik"
Q. Two men went onto a shop. One stole a battery and one stole a firework.What happened?
A.One got charged and the other got let off!
Sent in by Anonymous
How do you stop a monkey from climbing up Blackpool tower?
Take him Rhyl!!!
Zoie Douglas 12 email: zdouglas@uk.packardbell.org
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff!!!
Sent in by Paula Wylde
Doctor, Doctor I'm shrinking!
You'll just have to be a little patient!!
Sent in by James Barnes
Q What do you call a cat with eight legs?
A Octopuss!
Sent in by Humphrey
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Interrupting cat.
Interrupting ca....
Moooooo
Sent in by Mark and Bev
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